Did you know that we have ALL OF OUR AGES encoded in our brains? Did you know that emotional trauma (and/or neglect) arrests the developments of our brain in certain areas-like emotional maturity, well-being and the ability to have healthy, intimate relationships?
If we have been emotionally traumatized at any age, these developmental deficits commonly called “our issues” will “dog” (sorry horses) us until we look at them and “work them through” (called “confronting our issues.”) And the TRUTH is, there is NO WAY AROUND this if we are to live out our healthy potentials.
Regarding trauma, there is trauma with a “small t” and trauma with a “BIG T.” Even if you had the “best parents”, there is likely to be some “small t” arrests in your brain-helpful to recognize and work on for reaching your optimal potential. But for those of us who have had more of the bigger T’s in our lives, it is ESSENTIAL to address these so that we can suffer less and have better lives. This will impact our friends and loved ones in a positive way as well.
The earlier the trauma or the BIGGER THE TRAUMA-no matter what age, the more this will affect our life functioning. The brain remembers and develops neuropathways that encode the various traumas (leading to developmental arrests in emotional functioning). Typically, people will employ psychic “defenses” unconsciously to defend/protect against the internal “remembered-I-don’t-want-to-feel” assault.
Defenses are natural and it is good we have them. However, there are more “primitive/childlike” defenses and more “advanced/higher level” defenses. People who have been hurt/traumatized in childhood tend to use the same “child-like” defenses that were available to them when they were hurt. They get stuck here and continue to use the same childhood defenses into adulthood. This never bodes well for relationships!
As well functioning adults in this world, we need healthy adult defenses. “Childlike” behavior in adult bodies is the result of early childhood trauma and development arrests. Unfortunately, our world is filled with people who have not yet worked through their “baby parts.”
There are defenses of the “body” type-somatic (your back goes out so you focus on that pain instead of the emotional pain that you cannot “stand up to”) or you “forget” and miss your appointment with your therapist! Or perhaps you have an addiction problem which is causing all sorts of relational havoc and you “flat out deny” that there is a problem. Maybe your spouse says she is miserable in your marriage but you tell her (and yourself) that “we have a happy marriage.” Even DEPRESSION can be a defense-it is a shutdown of the awareness system-of the feeling system in the brain.
Since the brain has a lot of neuroplasticity (i.e., it can grow and change), HELP and CHANGE is available to everyone who want to “do the work” it takes to change. Equines assist us in this hard work by being projections for our inner worlds and stories. They do not judge us or shame us as we work through difficult emotions. They engage with us and show us something we need to see that we cannot see by ourselves or would take months to learn in “inside office” therapy. Equines are non-judgmental, insightful and loving companions who can help us explore our “baby parts.”
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