They say that falling in love is the only “socially acceptable form of psychosis.” This temporary form of “insanity” is called INFATUATION. When you are infatuated, your back is to all “the shit.” We do not see the “flaws” of the person we are in love with-or if we do, we might think these characteristics are “cute” or “will change” or just not see them at all (denial)!
In this “state of mind”, we see only what we want to see or some say we see “projections of ourselves”-the good part of ourselves, that is! We arrive at the “real part of loving” later when we see the “shit” and there is more “heavy lifting” to do-and here in “begins the work” of a relationship.
When the loves grows older and the infatuation wears off, we are confronted with the “manure (no, I did not say mature!) parts” of the relationship- the daily routine grind of living together and dealing with the “shit” of life together. Can we keep the love growing between us even as we deal with the routine and mundane?
Good, loving relationships are a lot of work. There is lots of on-going “manure” to clean up-even on a daily basis. Everyone has “manure”, “shit to deal with”, “psychological issues”-call it what you want but it has to be seen and dealt with if a relationship is to continue on the “intimacy path.”
As couples process together and separately their psychological/emotional issues, this very endeavor will create “clean” loving space and joy to share.
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